Slims Diary: Is Putting Yourself in place of the MC problematic?

Ok so it’s not necessarily problematic but it is something to think about. I personally have never done that and did not know people were doing this until I started writing. Typically, I like to think of myself as a completely separate entity or different character in the book. Depending on the story I’m the big sister or best friend. Most times I’m an observer on the sidelines listening to the author tell me a story. We walk through the scenes of the books as intangible beings existing outside of the character’s conceivable perceptions. Too much? If it is then think of The Watcher from Marvel. That’s me.

Before I continue, this is not to make anyone feel bad, no I don’t think you’re a bad person or a weirdo. I’m only posing a question(s) for you to really analyze and think about this.

Next disclaimer. I’m not talking about a character who doesn’t share the same culture as you. If you honestly find it difficult to relate to a character because of that, you are in fact a weirdo. In this case that’s not a compliment. However reading this might be a step in the right direction.

Anyways, I read the way I do because it tests my empathy.

Now here’s the thing. There is a difference between feeling bad about something because your morality kicks in, and feeling bad about something because you’re taking time to sit in the plight with someone. Whether directly or indirectly.

Voya from Blood Like Magic is my go-to book for explaining this. I did not like that Voya chose her love interest’s life over her cousin’s freedom. To me I would’ve chose the latter, but I understood why she did it that way! That ending never bothered me because Voya explained why she did what she did, and it made sense. The book was also written in a way where the audience could feel the intense complications of her decision. So while I didn’t agree I didn’t have a negative reaction to it because I understood the gravity on shawty’s shoulders.

Its fine if you thought differently but those were my thoughts.

Alot of the books I read are fantasy books so of course I would never find myself in some of the situations the characters find themselves in. At the same time I also don’t know what its like to live in a one parent household. I don’t know what its like to live in a studio apartment. I dont know what its like to be the youngest or middle child because I’m the eldest. Since I know this, I take this as an opprtunity to hear about experiences I may not understand because it excersizes my ability to do so in real life.

Listen, if someone can’t empathize with a fictional character whose thoughts are quite literally written for them on the page, it does raise questions about one’s ability to empathize in real life. If you can’t empathize with a character when the emotions, experiences, and thoughts written in ink on the page how are you doing this in real life? In real life, where you can’t know these thoughts, emotions, and experiences for certain while you’re interacting with one another.

Once again. I’m not saying that this makes you bad at empathizing. Maybe pretending you’re the MC of the book you’re reading is therapeutic for you. That’s wonderful that you found that and it’s important that you have that. Maybe books are your break from empathizing and that’s valid and important too.

But check this irony out. You know why I could say what I said in the last paragraph? Because empathy isn’t my chore, it’s my breath. I don’t read that way, but I can acknowledge and validate why others do. The same way we need water and food is the same way we need empathy for ourselves and others.

Next thing, there is a difference between basic morality and empathy. Basic morality is solving something becuase its clearly moraly wrong. Empathy is solving something because you understand the burden of the plight. I personally believe that folk mix up the priority of the two depending on the context. Howver, there’s no stake in reading a book, ( except maybe 20 dollars and a few hours of your time) the book is literally in your hands. What a great time to practice empathy when its low stakes.

So, I’m not gonna lie if someone plasters their face over the MC instead of walking next to them to learn and empathize with their perspective, it does make me tilt my head a bit. Granted if the MC goes too far then by all means, maybe you should pull back on the compassionate side of empathy. Which does require some extent of balance in your own mind but, its complicated, I know it is but, there’s beauty in complexity too.

My point is, if we honestly claim to want to care about others and build community then it’s important to reflect on your ability to empathize. A book tends to be a good way to assess that. Is empathy your breath or burden? If its your burden then you’re not ready for a neighbor. You’re not ready for a friend. Without empathy those relationships will suffocate. If breathing was your lung’s burden you would die right?

Ok that was harsh, but I hope I didn’t piss anyone off too bad. It’s simply some food for thought. There’s no issue with wanting to cool your brain off, in fact we need that. I’m just a ‘Thought Daughter’ with a laptop and I hope I was able to engage your thoughts.